Nordstrom Rack Cafe Gives Shoppers Last Chance At Food »
SEATTLE, WA — Department chain Nordstrom announced the opening of a new line of cafes inside its popular Rack stores this week that will serve remnants of meals left on customer’s plates at in-store restaurants in addition to discontinued and expired menu items.
The Rack Cafes consist of a single counter in the back of the [...]
To the Beautiful Girl I Saw »
Still haven’t heard from you. I don’t get it, what’s your problem? Can’t you see how perfect we are for each other.
To the Beautiful Girl I Saw »
I’m glad you didn’t respond, I can see now how much of a selfish bitch you are. I pour my heart out to you and you just choose to ignore me. I hope you learn to live with yourself because your chances are over!
To the guy I jerked off in the bathroom of Macy’s »
I think you forgot your wallet, I’ve kept it safe (cash untouched) and would be happy to return it to you, and if you have time, strangle your cyclops again. Email me with a brief description of my hand deformity so I know it’s you.
To the guy who jerked me off in the bathroom of Macy’s »
I just realized, our Moms are friends. I think mine used to babysit you, and when I told her about your hand thing, she reminded me of my old play buddy. Small world huh? Anyway, I’ll be stopping by your Mom’s house for the wallet soon, let s all have dinner.
Hot chick with the giant hands on Santa Monica Blvd. »
How I dream of thee as I lay beside my wife at night. I knew you were interested by the way you made eye contact and waved at me vigorously while waiting at that stoplight. How I long for your strong hands to caress my eager body. I don’t know what it is about you, [...]
Formerly gay man seeks beautiful woman with vagina for fun sex times »
Though I was once “confused”, thanks to a rigorous 2 week seminar I am now absolutely, positively, 99% heterosexual, and the ladies better watch out! Seeking a beautiful, big boobed lady to fulfill all my wildest vagina related fantasies. I can’t wait to actually bury my face in your… love… mound. Just thinking about your [...]
To the jizz receptacle in apartment 3-G »
I don’t care if I got cum on your new carpet, bitch. If you learned to swallow properly, you wouldn’t have all those sticky spots in your bedroom, now would you? Gag reflexes are for pansies.
Last night at Trader Joe’s »
You – 40ish, thick head of brown hair, beautiful blue eyes, killer smile.
Me – 32, redhead, polka dot blouse
Not sure if you saw me rifling through the potstickers and veggie spring rolls next to you.
Would you want to have coffee sometime? Dinner perhaps? A weekend away together in Santa Barbara? Thanksgiving at my [...]
To the hot guy who said he’d split me in half like a tree stump »
I feel so rude for ignoring you while trying to walk to my office as I passed your construction site. I’m just shy and I was so flattered by your offer I didn’t know what to say. But I need you to know how honored I was that you worked up the courage to say [...]
Hot successful professional man seeks retarded woman for long-term relationship »
Me: Hot, in shape, wealthy businessman with a new BMW and summer home in Tahoe.
You: Mildly to moderately retarded female.
I’m not the kind of guy to mince words about what I need in life, and it’s time to make my world complete, by finding my princess, all I ask is that she be a good [...]
For the Love of God someone tell me what I have to do to get a cock in me »
I’m gonna be honest, I’ma clas sie, totally hot and availible singel woman, and for the life a me I cant figure out why I cant get some cock in the old vajina. Whats the fukin problim? There aint no reason I should be able to sit at the bar from 3 to 2 drinking [...]
Professional man seeks adult, grownup sex »
Hi, I’m Dave, and I’m looking for an adult woman to have totally legal sex with. I’m a professional, neat, charming and kind, all that’s missing from my life is the love of the right woman who is of legal age. I’m not going to lie to you, when it comes to normal, heterosexual sex, [...]
No hypocrites »
Hey, so uh, I am looking for someone cute, athletic, discreet, very discreet, and not overly concerned with blatant hypocrisy if you know what I mean. Just, you know the kind of person who doesn’t get uh, angry, when they see a jewish fella eating a ham sandwich, or a cop breaking traffic laws, someone [...]
Guy looking to blow 100% straight cock »
Hi, look, I know, I’m a guy and I’m in the W4M section, but hear me out, I just want to blow straight guys, no queers! I’m serious, I am only interested in men who are %100 hetero, no exceptions. If you are attracted to women only and would absolutely never have physical contact with [...]
Getting to know you »
(Wearing leather slave clothes)
Hi, my name’s Phillip, I work as a senior marketing executive, I love to cook, and I guess I’m kind of a homebody. I like to just hang out at home; light some candles and have a nice bottle of wine forced inside me. I believe in waiting for sex, getting to [...]
Nine years »
Hi, I don’t know if you’ll ever see this but I need to say a few things. I love you, I’ve loved you every day for nine years. Nine years and three months since I made the mistake of selling you to that Saudi Prince for a trash bag full of weed. I’m ready to [...]
405 Freeway »
Hey, I saw you changing a tire on the 405 and you looked so hot I just had to… throw my snapple bottle at your head. I didn’t know what else to do, I’m a bad flirter, it’s like when in kindergarten you hit the boy you like. Well I’m sorry and I want to [...]
I’m just a girl »
Hi, I’m girl, looking for a kind, generous man to spend some time with. I love meeting men on the internet but recently my favorite site for that changed its policies so… if you’re looking for a girlfriend… experience I’m really good at doing that. If you think we’d get along I just need you [...]
Hand for a penis »
Hi, I’m Stan, I’m looking for an open-minded woman who wants to hang out, have fun, nothing too serious, and not get hung up on the fact that, I have a hand instead of a penis. It’s totally sanitary, I’m just like anyone else, I just need to keep my penis outside my pants so [...]
Registered and available »
Hi, I’m Bob, and I’m legally obligated to tell you that I’m a registered sex machine. I love Japanese films, Stuff magazine and the sounds of muffled crying. My turn offs are long lines, msnbc and tattletales. I’m a ladies man, I love almost every part of a woman’s body, from the vagina to the [...]
Winchell’s encounters »
Hi, you live in North Hollywood, have chestnut brown hair, and drive a 2003 Maxima. You’re taking classes at USC in business management. We haven’t actually met, but our paths seem to cross a lot, we both get coffee at around 8:17 every Wednesday at Winchell’s, both shop at the 3rd st Ralphs at hours [...]
For gentle, giving human »
Hi, I’m a dog, looking for a gentle, giving human for eventually inappropriate closeness. But consensual, no tricking me with peanut butter, that’s a good way to get your stuff chewed up. No, I just want a human who wants to hug me, stroke me, treat me nice, and see where things go from there. [...]
Has your dick gotten caught in a printing press? »
I can’t believe I’m doing this, okay, so I’m 26, single, obviously, and I have a kind of specific sexual need. Basically, I lost my virginity to a guy who’d gotten his dick caught in printing press, so now it kind of looks like a hammer head shark got run over my a motorcycle. And [...]
To the Beautiful Girl I Saw »
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say those things, it’s just that I’m so vulnerable to you these days. Please call me. Stop denying how much we’re made for each other.
To the Beautiful Girl I Saw »
I can’t stop thinking about you, I really hope you see this and give me a chance. I was the guy wearing pants and a shirt, you were the pretty girl crossing the street.
Hot Guy at the Punk Show »
You: The guy with the finely trimmed mustache and Capri pants making out with the dude in the orange hoodie outside the Gentle Cannibals concert
Me: The Morbidly obese redhead with the uneven breasts shaking my fist to the beat.
I know you might think you’re gay but I think you’re totally pretty and even if you’re [...]
Sotomayor Confirmation Inspires Burger King Worker To Assemble Sandwich More Efficiently »
LAREDO, TX — Burger King worker Monica Gutierrez reported feeling particularly inspired while assembling a Whopper Junior sandwich Friday after the confirmation of Sonia Sotomayor as the U.S. Supreme Court’s first Hispanic justice. “Usually I just mindlessly grab a fistful of lettuce, a tomato sliver and some onions without even looking at the ticket,” said [...]
