Lane Bryant Scientists One Preservative Away From Edible Shoulder Pads »
NEW YORK — In a move expected to revolutionize the snacking habits of plus-size businesswomen everywhere, scientists for retail chain Lane Bryant announced Friday that they are one preservative away from releasing the edible shoulder pad.
Sources close to the clothing store’s laboratories, best known to date as the birthplace of the WiFi Girdle and the [...]
Either Plunging, Pink V-Necks All the Rage for Guys or Area Man Still in Women’s Section of H&M »
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Nearly ten minutes after entering the Union Square H&M store, local resident Steve Haikara expressed bafflement as to whether he had successfully located the men’s section of the clothing retailer. “I thought I’d found it in this corner upstairs, but then the jeans I picked up had glitter on the back [...]
Popular Cash-For-Clunkers Program Extended to Nation’s Wives, Girlfriends »
WASHINGTON — In an effort to provide relief to millions of men stuck in loveless, lackluster relationships, the Senate voted Monday to extend the popular Cash-For-Clunkers program to the nation’s fleet of deteriorating wives and girlfriends.
The bill, expected to be signed into law by President Obama later this week, pays long-suffering husbands and boyfriends up [...]
Provocative Toddler Could Be Local Preschool’s Answer to Lady Gaga »
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — On the playground after a busy morning of learning about shapes and napping, local preschoolers angled to catch a glimpse of classmate Ashley Sherrill. The four year-old, donning fingerless leather gloves, purple eyeliner, and a metal-studded denim jacket, chatted excitedly about her afternoon snack, Pringles, and her bold decision to boycott [...]
Former President George W. Bush Brokers Reconciliation of Jon & Kate Gosselin »
DALLAS, TX – In what some are calling a “game changer” for the TLC network, former President George W. Bush brought Jon and Kate Gosselin together again Wednesday, following rare talks with the estranged couple who filed for divorce in June.
The reconciliation marks an incredible turnaround for the former stars of Jon & Kate Plus [...]
