WASHINGTON – According to White House sources, the Obama Administration has opened an investigation to question whether the Coast Guard’s recent use of motorboating as a method of interrogation should be classified as torture.

The highly provocative technique, which was approved along with a host of alternative procedures in 2002 by then National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice , involves the placement of one’s mouth into the area between a well-endowed woman’s breasts.  This is then followed by a rapid shaking of the face in a side-to-side motion and accompanied by a loud whirring sound.

“Now while I certainly have enjoyed a few rumbles in the past,” President Obama told reporters at a press conference, “I’m well aware that motorboating does not bring any pleasure to a woman, and, in fact, is quite humiliating.”

Top Coast Guard officials are insisting the methods continue to help protect the nation in uncharted waters.

“Just last month we were in Key West when we spotted a group of bikini-clad, co-ed cuties,” said Vice Admiral Clifford Pearson, Coast Guard Chief of Staff.  “We didn’t know who these girls were.  They could’ve been tied to a Mexican drug cartel, or inadvertently carrying swine flu, or al Qaeda suicide jet skiers for all we knew.”

“Now in this case, all we learned from our methods was that these buxom brunettes were on Spring Break and had just locked lips for the first time,” Pearson added.  “Some underage drinking was also observed.”

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said that her department’s general counsel is conducting the investigation.

“While we don’t yet have all the facts, these incidents as reported are very troubling,” Clinton said in a statement. “I cannot fathom for the life of me the threat that these young women pose to our national security.  And I’m particularly interested to find out why these interrogations are being videotaped at 3am outside nightclubs in Miami, South Padre Island, Cancun, and other sunny destinations.”

Coast Guard officials maintain it’s imperative that motorboating continue until at least Labor Day, when a potentially armed and dangerous gaggle of girls were expected to expose their shaved genitals to beachgoers just north of San Diego.